This ones a bit of a read!
Where. Has. The. Time. Gone? I have a 22 month old running around this crazy house and baby boy in this over for only 2 more short months! Its about time I start thinking a little more about myself
just in time for there to be even less time!
I stay home 5 days a week and work for two short days a week when my husband is home, and if he does have to work I am very blessed and thankful my parents take on one crazy day till he gets off! Being a 'stay at home mom' is nothing short of amazing, but let's be real, laundry day consists of two or three hang ups and the rest gets folded and shoved into a drawer...getting the picture?? Lets not fail to mention the chipped nail polish, overdue pedi and a hair tie or two always around the wrist for this mop.
Falling into a routine is awesome, especially with a toddler and trying to establish some sort of schedule and structure, but it's still...routine. Every day. Its what we do, and it consists of everything for everyone else. I love having a clean house, and to be able to sit with my family for dinner every night around the same time, but before I know it, it's tomorrows dinner time, and the next and the next. A typical day goes a little something like this, Stella wakes up around 7:30/8, we come downstairs watch a little Mouse while we wake up, eat breakfast, play/run errands if we have any that day, play, play, play, eat lunch, nap, wake up, play, play, dad gets home, play, start dinner, eat dinner, I clean up, hubs does bath time, then we finally get family time till we put Stella to bed at 8 (which might I add, this being able to get out of her big girl bed makes bed time any wheres from 15 minutes to a rare 2 hours!) on top of the normal household responsibilities that is not a part of Stellas schedule. Then 8 am here we are again!
I have found myself slumping into this funk and never doing anything for me, that falls outside of being a mom and wife (taken with a grain of salt, as those are truly the best things ever). I have read a lot of things on how to make a balance between yourself, being a great mom, but also being a great wife, as much of a fan that I am NOT of Mr. Phil... His advice has been my favorite so far. Mainly because #1 is my #1. I cant go anywhere alone without feeling like I have to rush, or check in to see if I should come home. Guilt. I feel sad when I am not here, and I feel pressure that my husband it tired or needs help or whatever it may be, I feel guilty for being alone.
I encourage every Mom to read this, it sure helped to open my eyes a little bit..
1. Get over the guilt.
- Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It's not selfish to make yourself a priority.
- Redefine what it means to be a "good mother." Instead of using society's definition, create your own measure of success as a parent.
- A good mother is not one who only sacrifices; a good mother is also able to give of herself. If you don't have passion and happiness in your own life, you can't give it to your children.
- Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than "just" a mom.
2. Make yourself a priority.
- Don't confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren't the same things. Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you'd give someone else you love.
- Don't do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the time to teach them how to do things for themselves.
- Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without feeling guilty.
3. Discover your passions.
- Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or enjoyment?
- Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: "What would it take to put that feeling back into my life? What can I do to recreate that feeling now?"
- When you've found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don't allow yourself to treat this "me time" as an option. It should be as important as anything else.
4. Gain the support of your family.
I wasn't the crazies of bloggers before, but I really enjoyed doing it when I did. When I got pregnant I was SO sick, hints when mama+her mini fell off the face of the blogger, and my house fell into this day/nightly routine that left no time for anyone, and turned my husband into mom, dad, husband, maid and chef.
Im starting to realize that it is important to make time for me... even if that means drinking some coffee to stay awake after Stella goes to sleep to catch up on my blog reads, or write one myself, then so be it! Maybe a little nail painting nap time, instead of dishwasher unloading? Whatever it may be, Im realizing its going to be ok. If Moms not ok... no one is ok. Wish me luck!
And lastly, but mostly not least, a little babe catch up!